Dating a Catholic Woman Made Me a Better Jew

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A Pastoral Statement on Orthodox/Roman Catholic Marriages

This was the norm for me: I was raised by two secular Jewish parents in a New Jersey suburb with a prominent Jewish population. I attended Hebrew school, had a bat mitzvah, lit Shabbat candles, went on Birthright. Jewish culture, thought, and ritual was and still is important to me. But once I got to college, I knew observing Judaism — and how I did so — was up to me.

Another accepted norm for me was the Nice Jewish Boy, two of whom I dated in high school.

I have never felt like this about any girl and feel like the luckiest man in the world. The problem is she’s Jewish. She told me on our first date and.

Interfaith marriage is on the rise anyway, Pope Francis acknowledged in his eagerly awaited apostolic exhortation on marriage and family. And besides, the Vatican no longer endorses actively trying to convert members of other religions to Catholicism — why not look at interfaith marriage as an opportunity to encourage dialogue between members of different religions?

Francis has repeatedly stated that Catholics should not try to convert Jews. Since marriages to non-Christian partners are becoming more common, the Pope decreed that Catholic clergy should educate itself on the issues surrounding interfaith marriage so that it can better deal with marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics when such occasion does arise. This declaration from the Vatican comes at a time when the Jewish world is also grappling with rising rates of intermarriage.

In America, for example, 35 percent of Jewish Americans who married in the past five years have a non-Jewish spouse, according to a Pew Research Center survey. During the same period, interfaith marriages accounted for 39 percent of all marriages in the United States. Anecdotal evidence suggests that intermarriage rates are higher among European Jews. Orthodox Judaism bans intermarriage, and some voices in the Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist movements also maintain that it poses a threat to the future of Diaspora Jewry, though there are those who would disagree.

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No one was particularly surprised that my sister and I — like half of all American Jews since — ended up marrying outside of our religion, she to a Quaker and I to a Catholic. Finding a Jewish mate just didn’t matter much to us. Our parents grew up with a strong sense of Jewish identity; how could they not? They still vividly recall the aftermath of the Second World War, when the horror of the Holocaust was revealed and the state of Israel was created.

Coming out of school, they faced discriminatory quotas and restrictions that limited their life choices. And during those years, most of their friends and dates were Jewish.

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I was recently approached by a Muslim chaplain looking for resources for Muslim parents, parents trying to find positive ways for their families to move forward when their adult children choose life partners outside of their faith community. They fear intermarriage will not fit comfortably within the expectations of parents and the boundaries of their faith communities.

I am a Roman Catholic immigrant to Canada from Germany living in Toronto and have been married to a Pakistani Muslim for close to 50 years. I am acutely aware of the potential difficulties that can arise in an interreligious marriage, especially when religious differences between spouses are compounded by racial and cultural differences. Photo: Wikimedia. Interfaith marriages between Muslims and non-Muslims are occurring with increasing frequency in Canada and often come with concerning issues for couples as well as their parents.

Interfaith marriage

Salornor a ‘rat’ if he girl fit. But if I should do the same he would not like it. He does not care for the Eddie Cantor programme; I do. He likes the Walter Jewish programme, and I don’t. Ben’s family beams dating there is mention of such great Jews as Einstein, Epstein, Freud.

My girlfriend is Catholic and I am Jewish. We have been dating for seven years. We’ve lived together for two years. Her family’s Catholic faith is.

Interfaith marriage , sometimes called a ” mixed marriage “, is marriage between spouses professing different religions. Although interfaith marriages are most often contracted as civil marriages , in some instances they may be contracted as a religious marriage. This depends on religious doctrine of the two party’s religions; some of which prohibit interfaith marriage, but others allow it in limited circumstances.

Several major religions are mute on the issue, and still others allow it with requirements for ceremony and custom. For ethno-religious groups, resistance to interfaith marriage may be a form of self-segregation. In an interfaith marriage, each partner typically adheres to their own religion, but an important point is in what faith the children will be raised.

According to Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights , men and women who have attained the age of majority have the right to marry “without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion”. Interfaith marriage in Judaism was historically viewed with disfavor by Jewish leaders, and it remains controversial. The Talmud and poskim prohibit non-Jews to marry Jews, and discuss when the prohibition is from the Torah and when it is rabbinical.

Traditional Judaism does not consider marriage between a Jew by birth and a convert as intermarriage; [9] [10] [11] Biblical passages which apparently support intermarriage, such as that of Joseph to Asenath and Ruth to Boaz , were regarded by classical rabbis as having occurred after the non-Jewish spouse had converted. Orthodox Judaism refuses to accept intermarriage, and tries to avoid facilitating them.

Pope Francis Just Made It a Little Easier for Catholics to Marry Jews

According to the U. Overall, slightly less than a third of all married Jews are intermarried. No one knows exactly why. Melissa and Karl Simon of Reston, Va.

Dear Rabbi Boteach, How do you tell an Orthodox Jewish mother that you are dating a Catholic girl? I am a Jewish man who was raised Orthodox, but am not.

Until recent decades, the idea of a Catholic marrying outside the faith was practically unheard of, if not taboo. Such weddings took place in private ceremonies in the parish rectory, not in a church sanctuary in front of hundreds of friends and family. These days, many people marry across religious lines. The rate of ecumenical marriages a Catholic marrying a baptized non-Catholic and interfaith marriages a Catholic marrying an non-baptized non-Christian varies by region.

In areas of the U. They are holy covenants and must be treated as such. A marriage can be regarded at two levels — whether it is valid in the eyes of the Church and whether it is a sacrament. Both depend in part on whether the non-Catholic spouse is a baptized Christian or a non-baptized person, such as a Jew, Muslim or atheist. If the non-Catholic is a baptized Christian not necessarily Catholic , the marriage is valid as long as the Catholic party obtains official permission from the diocese to enter into the marriage and follows all the stipulations for a Catholic wedding.

A marriage between a Catholic and another Christian is also considered a sacrament. In fact, the church regards all marriages between baptized Christians as sacramental, as long as there are no impediments. The union between a Catholic and a non-baptized spouse is not considered sacramental. Good-quality marriage preparation is essential in helping couples work through the questions and challenges that will arise after they tie the knot.

Our grandson will be raised Catholic. How can I help my distraught husband adjust?

He had some luck meeting women through Internet dating sites like AmericanSingles. Then he found what he now considers an online gold mine — JDate, a Web site that bills itself as “the largest Jewish singles network. Although he is Catholic by birth and upbringing, Mr. Coppola has long preferred to date Jewish women. I thought I’d go with the odds.

Coppola is one of a growing number of gentiles who have lately signed on to JDate, which was established in as a service for bringing Jews together.

wishes to continue to observe Catholicism, whereas her partner who does not believe difficulties of interfaith dating (IFF_Jewish man and non-Jewish woman​).

I am Baptist and my boyfriend is Jewish. Can we still make it work? I am trying to learn about Judaism. I’ve had a lot of experience with these kinds of relationships. Real short, I’ll try to describe what’s involved:. There are two stages in a long term relationship between a man and a woman. First, they fall in love.

That’s a kind of insanity that befalls most of humanity at some point. Without it, no one would ever get married. But—and this is the crucial point—that insanity almost never lasts too long. One day, you wake up and here’s this guy that you’ve hitched up with forever and ever—and you can’t for the life of you remember why. What got into you?

Jewish Mother, Catholic Girlfriend

His mom, however, has her doubts. Read More. So, when we packed our bags for that first Thanksgiving in Florida, I felt far more excited than nervous.

A relationship milestone so soon after we’d started dating held such a Jewish boy and a Catholic girl: What kind of ceremony would we have.

Although it was known that there were large numbers of mixed marriages among the third and fourth generations of the Spanish and Portuguese Jewish immigrants of the s and s and the German Jewish immigrants to America in the mid- to late nineteenth century, within the American Jewish community intermarriage was by and large not the subject of research or analysis until the s.

Until then, it was the consensus of social scientists that with the large influx of Eastern European Jewish immigrants between and mixed marriage had become a null category. The leadership and the masses of American Jews were preoccupied with breaking down any barriers to complete assimilation. Fighting discrimination and prejudice was the order of the day.

Even in s America, however, mate selection is not solely a matter of romantic love. The first voice noting a growing rate of mixed marriage was heard in an article written by Eric Rosenthal for the American Jewish Yearbook. Rosenthal analyzed the mixed-marriage rates of Jews in Iowa and later in of those in Indiana, the only two states that recorded the religion of future bride and groom when they registered for a marriage license.

He found that the out-marriage rate of Jews was over twenty percent in these states. However, his findings were largely ignored because the Jewish populations of Iowa and Indiana were so small that it was hard to imagine that what Rosenthal found there could be generalized to the whole United States. So, interfaith marriage as a whole was only given cursory notice. The differential rate of men and women in the cases that were known was noted but not emphasized.

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